How to Talk to Children About Sex: A Guide from Early Childhood to the Teen Years

Talking to children about sex is one of the most important – and often one of the most uncomfortable responsibilities of parenting. But it doesn’t have to be awkward or overwhelming. When approached openly and developmentally appropriately, these conversations can build trust, self-awareness and safety for your child throughout their growth.

This guide outlines how to talk to children about sex and sexuality from early childhood through adolescence, offering age-appropriate advice and practical tips for every stage.

Early Childhood (Ages 2–6): Start With the Basics

At this stage, children are naturally curious about their bodies and the differences between themselves and others. This is the ideal time to lay the foundation for healthy sexual development.

What to Say:

• Use correct anatomical terms (e.g., penis, vulva, vagina) when naming body parts. This helps reduce shame and improves body safety.
• Teach body privacy and the concept of “private parts” being those covered by a swimsuit.
• Introduce the idea of consent with simple messages like “Your body belongs to you” and “You can say no to hugs or kisses.”
• Begin teaching about safe vs. unsafe touch in a calm, non-scary way.

Key Messages:

• It’s okay to be curious.
• You can always ask Mom, Dad or another safe adult if you have questions.
• Your body is special and deserves respect.

Middle Childhood (Ages 7–10): Expanding Understanding

As children grow, so does their capacity to understand more complex ideas about reproduction, relationships and boundaries.

What to Say:

• Answer questions about how babies are made in simple, honest terms. Use age-appropriate books if helpful.
• Discuss the basics of puberty before it starts—this reduces fear and confusion when changes occur.
• Talk about media influences (e.g., what they see on TV, social media or online) and help them think critically about messages about bodies and gender.

Key Messages:

• Puberty is normal and different for everyone.
• It’s okay to ask uncomfortable questions.
• It’s good to talk to a trusted adult if you hear or see something that confuses or upsets you.

Preteens (Ages 11–13): Prepare for Change

Puberty is in full swing by now, and many preteens begin exploring identity, attraction and boundaries more deeply. This is when they need accurate information and emotional guidance, not just biology lessons.

What to Say:

• Discuss the physical and emotional changes of puberty, including periods, erections, voice changes and mood shifts.
• Explain the basics of sexual orientation, gender identity and respect for diversity.
• Begin conversations about digital safety, including sexting, inappropriate content and respecting others online.

Key Messages:

• Everyone develops at their own pace – there’s no “normal” timeline.
• You are growing into your own identity, and I’m here to help you figure it out.
• You have the right to privacy—but also the responsibility to be safe.

Teenagers (Ages 14–18): Deepen the Dialogue

Teens often have access to more information than any other generation—but not all of it is helpful or accurate. Parents remain one of the most trusted sources when the relationship is open and non-judgmental.

What to Say:

• Talk openly about sexual relationships, contraception, consent and emotional readiness.
• Reinforce values such as respect, responsibility and safety, while also discussing peer pressure and risky behavior.
• Don’t shy away from topics like pornography, masturbation, sexually transmitted diseases or sexual orientation—your teen likely already knows about them and needs a trusted adult to help process it all.

Key Messages:

• Sex is a personal and emotional decision—don’t let anyone pressure you.
• Healthy relationships are built on consent, honesty and mutual respect.
• You can always come to me – no matter what.

Tips for Talking to Your Child About Sex at Any Age

1. Start early and keep talking – Don’t wait for “The Talk.” Make it a series of ongoing conversations.
2. Stay calm and open-minded – If your child asks something awkward, thank them for trusting you.
3. Use teachable moments – Use movies, news stories or everyday situations to spark conversation.
4. Admit when you don’t know – It’s okay to say, “I’m not sure. Let’s find out together.”
5. Keep your values clear – Be honest about your beliefs while respecting your child’s developing views.

Final Thoughts

Talking about sex isn’t just about preventing risks – it’s about equipping your child with knowledge, confidence and safety. When children grow up in homes where their bodies and feelings are treated with respect, they are more likely to make healthy, informed choices and to come to you when they really need guidance.

Remember: You as parent don’t need to be perfect – just present, honest and caring.